Everybody gets angry sometimes.
There is nothing wrong with that.
Anger has 5 benefits.
Creates a pause
Reveals injustice
Encourages communication
Builds stronger relationships
Promotes self-care
I know that I am angry when I feel
prickly all over, I keep going over
the situation in my head, I struggle
to concentrate, and I want to quit.
Anger may show up different for
you, but take a moment and
reflect. What are the early signs
that anger is building inside of you.
Remember that anger never shows up
alone. Anger is a surface emotion. That
means other emotions are underneath.
For example, frustration, rejection, and
feeling vulnerable.
Anger is also a protective emotion. It
shows up when we are afraid of losing
one or more of our core needs, which
are food, shelter, safety, belonging,
self-esteem, and control.
Assuming you are not in a dangerous
or abusive situation it is often
necessary to have a conversation
with all the responsible parties to
create a solution.
Such a conversation might go
something like this.
I feel ____________
because ___________.
When ____________ happens,
what I need is _____________.
What do you think?
One thing I can agree with is _________.
What can we do differently
going forward?
I am willing to ______
if you are willing to
________________.
How the other parties respond will
tell you a lot about whether the
relationship is healthy or not.
Sometimes the conversation is better
accomplished with another person
helping, such as a counselor,
mediator or faith leader.
Either way, once the conversation ends
take some time to rest, relax, and refocus.
Celebrate small and big wins!
A. Acknowledging your feelings
B. Speaking up for yourself
C. Working for a solution
D. Learning what you want in life
I recognize that a history or trauma,
neglect or abuse can make this
process a bit more challenging.
Take small steps at first.
Start by pausing when you feel angry,
and talking with a trusted friend about it.
Lightbulb Moment! Anger can be used
for good if you know how to do it.
Going Forward:
Make a list of what leads
to anger in your life and send it to us at
so we can continue the conversation!
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